Kate Ferdinand has discussed in detail how she has found it being part of a blended family on the community page she set up on Instagram surrounding the topic last month.
The online space was created by the 30 year old to provide a platform for those who can relate to speak up and share their experiences on the unique ways their families have been formed.
On Wednesday 5 January, Katie shared her own thoughts and feelings entering husband Rio Ferdinand’s family and becoming stepmum to his three children, Lorenz, 15, Tate, 13, and Tia, 10, saying she sometimes struggles with feeling like an “outsider” in a lengthy post.
“Sometimes, no matter how hard we try to feel a part of our partners & children’s life, we at times can feel like an outsider,” she wrote.
Kate continued: “This is something I still struggle with & to be honest, I think I always will. This has no baring on how my husband & the children treat me but more to do with entering into an already formed family.
“So many memories already made and a full family life before I became part of their new chapter.
“This already formed family is really my whole life, yet they have a life without & before me, it’s a hard thing to get your head around at times.”
The former TOWIE star continued to reveal how “embarrassed” she felt whenever she wasn’t able to answer medical questions about her stepchildren to their doctor – reminding her that they had a life before her that she was not part of.
“It’s moments like when the doctor asks: Have they had chicken pox before? I freeze & think shit, I don’t bloody know,” she said.
Kate went on: “An awkward embarrassed feeling comes over me, and reality sets in. Am I being judged?
“For me, it can be the tiniest thing that can get me in my feelings; I am highly sensitive & have always craved love, a big family & to feel safe.
“I often can’t believe my luck, I have all three of the things I have always dreamed of but weirdly at times I feel like it’s not really mine.”
Kate looked far from awkward or an outsider in the photo she posted alongside her extensive caption, which showed her laughing along with Rio and her stepchildren as they embraced outside.
After welcoming son Cree – her first child with Rio – last year, Kate admits she still has insecurities when it comes to her other children and continues to work on these issues.
“Navigating your way through this and trying to find your place can be extremely difficult. It does become easier with time, but do these feelings ever fully go? I’m not sure.
“Will I always feel not fully part of everything? Maybe.
“To my fellow stepmums, this is an amazing but difficult & confusing journey. It can be bloody hard work, if you feel an outsider at times, please know you are not alone. Let’s try and cling to the positive & not the moments of doubt.”
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