I never split the bill on a date but I'm NOT a gold digger

I never split the bill on a date but I'm NOT a gold digger

Woman, 24, who REFUSES to split the bill on ANY date slams critics who say she’s a ‘money-hungry gold digger’ – insisting men should reward the ‘time and effort’ she puts in so she can ‘look her best’ for them

  • Ella Freimann, 24, from New York, says it’s not because she’s ‘money hungry’
  • She said she will never contribute to the check because she has high standards
  • The influencer thinks men should ‘value the effort’ she put into ‘looking her best’

A woman has responded to haters who call her a ‘gold digger’ and ‘selfish’ for insisting that ladies should ‘never split the bill during a date’ – because she believes guys who ask them to contribute ‘don’t value the time and effort they put into looking their best for the man.’

For Ella Freimann, 24, a dating coach from New York, being with someone who isn’t generous with his wallet is not an option – but she insisted it’s not because she’s ‘money hungry.’ 

Instead, the 24-year-old explained that believes potential suitors should always cover the entire check because she has high standards and ‘knows what she brings to the table.’

‘By splitting the bill, I’m agreeing to form a connection with a man who doesn’t know his role in a relationship and expects me to be 50 per cent of the man he’s not,’ she told NeedToKnow.co.uk recently. 

A woman has responded to haters who call her a ‘gold digger’ and ‘selfish’ for insisting that ladies should ‘never split the bill during a date’

For Ella Freimann, 24, a dating coach from New York, being with someone who isn’t generous with his wallet is not an option – but she insisted it’s not because she’s ‘money hungry’

Instead, the 24-year-old explained that believes potential suitors should always cover the entire check because she has high standards and ‘knows what she brings to the table’

‘I’ve learned that men who split the bill don’t value the time and effort a woman puts into herself to look her best for that man.

She believes guys who ask them to contribute ‘don’t value the time and effort they put into looking their best for the man’

’50/50 men don’t understand that the woman’s investment was made prior to the date.

Ella explained that it’s less about the money and more about quantifying the effort that a man is willing to put in. 

The dating coach added that by not contributing to the check, she feels like she is ‘keeping her dignity intact’ and ‘avoiding bad experiences’ with the man in the future. 

Ella has been very outspoken about her stance on TikTok, where she’s gained more than 20,000 followers, and her controversial opinions on dating have sparked a slew of backlash for her. 

Even so, she’s determined to end the negative stigma and put a stop to the misconceptions surrounding women who demand more from their men.

‘Most people think that we’re selfish, but I don’t think that’s the truth,’ she continued. ‘A high-value woman knows what she brings to the table and expects the same in return.

‘Another assumption is [that] we don’t work or we’re lazy, but a woman with high standards in dating always makes sure that the man is able to provide for both, in case she doesn’t want to work.

The dating coach added that by not contributing to the check, she feels like she is ‘keeping her dignity intact’ and ‘avoiding bad experiences’ with the man in the future


Ella has been very outspoken about her stance on TikTok , where she’s gained 20,000 followers, and her controversial opinions on dating have sparked a slew of backlash for her

Even so, she’s determined to end the negative stigma and put a stop to the misconceptions surrounding women who demand more from their men

‘I’ve seen women building their businesses and focusing on themselves while being provided for by a man.

‘And [when it comes to] being reduced to our looks, although a woman’s beauty is a valuable aspect, we understand the value a woman brings to a relationship, such as emotional stability, nurturing qualities, and support.

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‘Many studies have shown that men can’t live without a woman — we better a man’s life in all aspects, and since we know what we bring, we expect the man to bring his part.’

One of the most common negative comments that Ella has received is people who call her a ‘gold digger.’

And while she doesn’t take it as a compliment, she isn’t bothered by the term because it means she’s being perceived as a woman who refuses to settle for a man who doesn’t respect her. 

‘The term “gold digger” refers to a woman that’s money-hungry. However, the term has been thrown around to every woman that decides to raise her standards in dating and expects her partner to be financially stable and to provide for her,’ she explained.

‘Sadly, there’re a lot of men who are frustrated with their lives, they are not financially stable, and that makes them deeply insecure.

‘I feel like women should learn a few things from gold diggers, they always ask for what they want.

It’s worked in Ella’s own life – she’s currently in a long-term relationship (she’s seen with her boyfriend) – and she said her advice has ‘turned around’ many of her clients’ lives too

‘Men have no issue asking for intimacy and submissiveness from a woman, so why should we be hesitant to get our needs met?’ she asked


Another thing she’s fiercely against is coffee dates, which she described as a ‘waste of time’ and ‘disrespectful to women’

‘Men have no issue asking for intimacy and submissiveness from a woman, so why should we be hesitant to get our needs met?’

Another thing she’s fiercely against is coffee dates, which she described as a ‘waste of time’ and ‘disrespectful to women.’ 

‘It says a lot about a man’s intentions with that woman [if he wants to go on a coffee date],’ she added.

‘A man that proposes a coffee date doesn’t perceive you as worthy of his time and effort, and probably is diversifying his money so he can date as many women as he can with the minimum effort.’

Ella said her high standards were instilled in her from a young age, thanks to her parents. 

‘I was fortunate enough to grow up with both of my parents so I had a clear example of how gender roles build the foundation of a healthy and long-lasting relationship,’ she told the outlet.

‘I grew up with a providing father and a nurturing mother who had the luxury of raising her children and being a stay-home mother.’

Not only has Ella’s outlook worked in her own life – she’s currently in a long-term relationship – but she also said her advice has ‘turned around’ many of her clients’ dating lives. 

‘I helped a girl who had a past of dating broke men who did nothing for her and she confessed to me that she was tired of splitting the bill, getting disrespected, and being cheated on,’ she revealed.

‘After I coached her, she was able to build her self-esteem and gain confidence in herself.

‘Now she’s in a stable relationship where she is fully provided for and her boyfriend founded her successful business.

 She said: ‘A man that proposes a coffee date doesn’t perceive you as worthy of his time and effort, and probably is diversifying his money so he can date as many women as he can’

In one of Ella’s most-viewed videos, she said she believes your standards are low if you’ve never been called a gold digger – and it sparked a debate between viewers

‘I also recently coached a very intelligent woman who is a financial advisor.

‘She works in a place full of rich men and millionaires but struggled to get the right attention and to be approached by men who took her seriously.

‘Through various sessions of coaching, she was able to feel comfortable in her femininity and setting boundaries, which led her to have a pool of men ready to court her and pursue her for a serious relationship.’

In one of Ella’s most-viewed videos, she said she believes your standards are low if you’ve never been called a gold digger – and it sparked a debate between viewers. 

One person said: ‘I never been called that In my life. I also always made my own money and never saw man as a cash machine. I somehow had higher ambition.’ [sic]

‘Gold digging a flex? Damn. We know where you stand,’ another wrote, while a third said: ‘Or maybe I have my own money.’

Others, however, were quick to agree with Ella. One user commented: ‘My ex called me a gold digger for not believing nor wanting to do 50/50 with him.’

Another said: ‘I’ve been call that plenty of times by broke men.’ 

‘You’re right it’s a badge of honor wear it proud ladies,’ agreed someone else.

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