DEAR DEIDRE: MY best friend won’t speak to me after I bedded her sexy man, and now I’ve found out he’s also been cheating with another good friend.
He’s 23 and we’re all 24 and have known each other since secondary school.
This guy has always been fun, flirting and messing about.
Everyone falls for his charm. I’d always fancied him, but as he’d gone out with my two best friends at school — at different times — I didn’t think anything would ever happen with me.
Their relationships didn’t last, but the three of us girls remained close.
The years rolled by and then recently one of my besties said she’d got a new man and it turned out she’s back with the guy from our school.
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I was surprised by how jealous I felt.
A couple of weeks later, I bumped into him on a night out.
We propped up the bar catching up and he told me, “I always thought you were out of my league.”
My heart flipped. I had waited years to hear that.
He then asked me if I fancied meeting up again and, caught up in his attention, I agreed.
A couple of nights later we met up for some food and drinks in a bar.
We went back to his flat and straight to bed.
It was epic. We started a secret affair and I thought he’d stop seeing my friend and go public about us.
So I couldn’t believe it when I got a late-night call from my other friend — she said she’d been seeing him behind our friend’s back and was feeling so guilty, she had to talk to someone.
I felt such a fool. The whole sorry mess has come out.
Everyone knows about everyone else. He’s still seeing our friend, but she hates us both.
Wherever I go, people whisper and giggle at me.
The past couple of months have been awful.
I’ve lost my best friend and my other friend and I are barely speaking.
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DEIDRE SAYS: He’s a player and he must be a real charmer if he can talk his way out of this.
You and your friend both did wrong so tell the poor girl you’re sorry – not because it will mean you can resurrect your friendship, but because it’s the right thing to do.
Also ask her to see this guy for the cheat he is. If he is prepared to cheat with two of her friends, he’s likely to continue messing her around.
Learn from what’s happened. No more sneaking around, and next time you find someone special, give it time and get to know them properly.
This way you are far more likely to know where you stand.
Avoid settling for someone who is already attached – as this always ends in someone getting hurt.
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