My boyfriend turns me on but I can never climax when we have sex

My boyfriend turns me on but I can never climax when we have sex

DEAR DEIDRE: I FEEL horny just looking at my boyfriend but I can never climax when we have sex.

We’ve tried everything – special lubes, different positions, various toys and vibrators, but nothing works.


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I’m worried he thinks I’m not into him. He is 27, I’m 26, and we’ve been together for six months.

I’d had a couple of one-night stands before I met my partner, and I had never finished during those. I assumed that’s because they were always after quite a few drinks and I was nervous.

When I masturbate on my own, I orgasm easily, so I told my boyfriend to do exactly the same. But I don’t even get close. Any advice?

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DEIDRE SAYS: Our sexual organs are closely linked with our brains. So if you are feeling nervous or anxious, you may have difficulty letting go.

You’re still early on in your relationship, so you may feel self-conscious, or struggle to be fully in the moment.

My support pack Orgasm For Women has some exercises. Perhaps give them a go with your partner.

It may also help to see a sex therapist. Find someone local through College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists (cosrt.org.uk, 020 8106 9635).

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