My daughter expects me to do everything around the house despite my arthritis

My daughter expects me to do everything around the house despite my arthritis

DEAR DEIDRE: MY adult daughter expects me to do everything around the house, despite my chronic health condition. 

She lost her job at the beginning of the pandemic and, due to a lack of savings, asked if she could move back home to save on the cost of rent. 


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I agreed – I thought it would be nice to have company in lockdown, having lived alone for eight years. I’m 69 and she’s 31. 

But it’s been a nightmare. She refuses to help with household tasks, dumping her plates in the sink and chucking her dirty clothes in front of the machine. 

I have severe arthritis so my mobility is limited and the extra pressure of clearing up after her is only making it worse. 

I’ve also asked her to contribute a little towards bills – she’s on benefits so can afford it – but she just calls me tight. 

I’m at my wits’ end, and even thought of moving in with a pal to get away from her. 

DEIDRE SAYS: Your daughter should not expect to be waited on, hand and foot, at her age. Sit her down once more to explain the impact that this is having on your health, as this may prompt a change in her behaviour.

But give her a clear choice – help around the house, or find another place to stay. I’m sending you my support pack Standing Up For Yourself, which will help you to have an assertive talk. 

Also contact versusarthritis.org, whose free helpline (0800 5200 520, Mon-Fri, 9am-8pm), can help you find some local support

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